First of all let me start by saying there is nothing wrong with loyalty. Nor, whilst I’m on, is there anything wrong with making compromises for those you care deeply about.
However, what I’m talking about is false loyalty. The type of loyalty we attach to either someone who neither has earned or deserves it; or that doesn’t want it or need it.
It may not be talked about as often, however this is one of the most common mindset/self sabotage issues I see. And it’s rare to find someone who is completely immune.
Have you ever not done something you need to do? Not made a decision you need to make? Or refrained for asking for something you need? Because of a person or people in your life, who effectively, whether you framed it that way or not at the time (chances are not), you decided that they were more important than you.
Think about that for a minute.
Because when you when you make a decision, take an action, or...
Are you desperately searching for your purpose? Maybe you’ve heard about this purpose malarkey but don’t have a clue what it means for you so you haven’ even bothered trying? Or maybe you just feel like with a full time job, kids, partner dog or 14 cats (whatever!) who has the time?
I call Bullsh*t!
The idea of ‘finding your purpose’ conjures up several images, none of which I’m particularly fond of.
Firstly the idea that you only have one purpose, that there's only one right 'thing' for you if your life is to have any meaning... Bullsh*t!
Secondly, is the idea that you might never find it, or could pick the wrong thing, and again oops, suddenly your only option is a life that lacks purpose, meaning and authenticity... Bullsh*t.
Finally, this idea that you need to go searching. That somehow you’ve got to work hard to ‘find’ it. Pushing the notion of you having a joy filled...
It’s a weird anomaly to get your head around, the idea that just because something isn’t bad, doesn’t mean it’s good.
My job wasn’t bad. It was challenging (in a good way most of the time), I liked the people I worked with, I had a laugh and I was well paid. All good.
But as I watched my own health decline and decline, to the point where I felt that work got everything I had, leaving me very little left over for my loved ones (or even myself), I knew something had to give.
What started as repeated bouts of illness, viruses, infections, bad colds and the likes, soon deteriorated into severe neurological illness. Even post recovery from the illness, I was left with ongoing chronic health problems that left me fatigued and unwell, day after day, week after week.
Intuitively I knew that I couldn’t go on the way I was, I was so far away from living the life of my dreams, in fact I was barely living at all! I would put...
What is it about the human condition that we like to convince ourselves we’re the only ones?
Everyone else is doing fine, it’s only me that struggles with this.
No one else would understand, I’m weird feeling like this.
Everyone else is doing so well, maybe I’m not cut out for this.
I have fallen into this trap many times. When things in my business aren’t going so well for whatever reason (income, balance, wrong customers, not so good decisions, feeling stuck) I quickly decide that everyone else’s business seems to be doing so much better than mine in this area. That everyone else is handling it, they’ve got it under control. It’s almost not conscious, but very quickly I can feel like I’m not cut out for this entrepreneurship malarkey after all. Not when I seem to be worse at it than everyone else. Ah the good old inner critic!
The irony of course, is that some of the people i’m looking...
I know the feeling! It’s so easy to get stuck and then when you think you’ve found a solution quickly find yourself back to where you started. It’s like a comedy farce, but not so funny.
Yet in truth there are many solutions to every problem and you already know the answers, you just may not see them yet. In fact in truth sometimes we’re subconsciously avoiding what we know is the right answer, deliberately passing over our peripheral vision, hoping we don’t have to face up to the answer that’s lurking there!
I don’t know about you, but when I get stuck, I can sometimes start to resemble a bull in a china shop. How many times have you overhauled a whole area of your business? Started from scratch? Or thrown the whole thing out in despair? Only to find yourself exhausted, despondent and motivated to do nothing, because you feel like you’re working so hard but not moving forward.
The truth though is that sometimes a...
January gets a lot of bad press doesn’t it? In the UK it’s a long and cold month, and with many of us broke from Christmas, battling with New Year healthy eating kicks and dry January efforts, it can easily feel like the fun has been sucked away from the start of the year.
It’s amazing how the good intentions and excitement of opportunity that we had coming into the new year, can quickly dissolve, as we find ourselves hit by a cold (or worse), drained of energy, procrastinating all of our best intentioned plans and overwhelmed by how much we wanted to achieve.
Oh January why do you make it so hard? Or perhaps we make it hard on ourselves?
It’s a funny choice when you think about it isn’t it?!To choose a month that it is already difficult and then pile new resolutions, new intentions, habit changes and new projects on the top. In the cycle of the seasons, it’s spring that brings the energy of new beginnings, perhaps this would...
The winter is upon us today. A thick cold white fog cocoons the apartment like a duvet, almost like an announcement ‘it’s time to give in to the urge, nestle down boys and girls, I’ve arrived!’
There’s work to be done. And plenty of it. Pressure to earn, pressure to grow. But the weight has been lifted somewhat by the warm feelings of protection and warmth, that sometimes only the true arrival of winter can provide.
It’s time to work in a different way now. It’s time to hunker down. It’s time for connection. The busy light hearted work of the summer is a memory, now is the time to dig deeper. To connect with the heart of ourself, to connect with the soul of our work and to deeply connect with the souls of those around us.
Now is the time to connect with the message
Now is the time to connect with the meaning
Now is the time to connect to the soul
Now is the time to connect to the heart
Ours and the hearts of...
Today saw the reintroduction of my ‘morning routine’. I know - fancy - although may I break that facade a little by admitting to you that I didn’t start it until the family left for school and work, and allowing for dogs and other various distractions didn’t finish it until nearly 10am! I am aware that people much more fabulous, disciplined and well rested than me get up very early in the morning to begin such pursuits, however whilst this remains on my permanent list of life ambitions, the truth behind the matter is, frankly, I can’t be arsed!
Following my ‘fancy’ routine I listened to old Christmas songs whilst making soup and cried.
Throughout the rest of the day I worked hard at keeping up the high abundant vibes of my morning reflections, despite being endless tried by HMRC, the local council school application process, the DVLA and just about any other government run body or department who decided they needed urgent...
November was a tough month for my business. Like a rich Autumn harvest, October saw me reap the rewards of a long hot summer of toil. However, come November it felt like the harvest had all but been gathered, and the long cold harsh reality of winter was knocking at the door.
Anyone starting a business will know, that cashflow and inconsistent income can be one of the hardest challenges you face in this phase. Boom and bust patterns of sales and income do little to calm the nerves, build the confidence, and at times pay the bills! But despite the uncertainty of it all, like most desperately uncomfortable situations, great things can come if we can stay the course.
The toughest times can provide some of the greatest opportunities for deep reflection and focus. A rare moment of quiet (albeit an uneasy one) to really dig deep within ourselves and our own inner knowledge, and to spot areas of disconnection, or where we’re out of alignment, as well as...
There’s a deep shame attached to not being able to get your shit together when starting a business. Particularly when your job is to support others in getting their shit together to start theirs. (I can only thank the Lord that I appear to be much better at doing it for clients than myself.)
Starting a business is tough for anyone. And not always in the ways that might appear obvious before you start. For example, you anticipate cash flow may be an issue, that financially it may be tough going for a while, that you may have to tighten the proverbial belts, possibly even accept a little more debt than before. How jolly it all sounds, almost exciting, almost a hark back to the keep calm and carry on days of the war! Hell we’ve become too materialistic any way! Fetch the rationing cards kids, we’re going on a family adventure...
What you don’t expect is screaming at your husband in front of your first born (causing him both a tummy ache and to...